This is my bastardized version,
my apologies to Dr. Seuss from Mr. Coffee:

fuck me sideways in a chair,
just don’t get it in my hair.

backwards, twice from behind,
your big dick blows my mind.

on top for hours and hours,
you’re my first to deflower.

upside down and horizontally connect,
lets not try to break our necks.

standing up in a bed,
is so much better than in a shed.

on a table or in the shower,
your thrusting hips have lots of power.

hard, fast, scissor style,
now lets try it in a Walmart aisle,

at high noon or in the dark,
we’ll get arrested at the park.

in a pool cowgirls yell,
fuck me faster and ring my bell.

windows open and against a wall,
if you’re not careful you’ll bust a ball.

in a closet during breakfast,
i think that’s when your husband surfaced.

in the car at the park,
i think that’s where i got this mark.

harder, faster in the rain,
now lets do it all again.